Blind Date

One foggy day I was walking back home from the fish store down the street. It was very humid and dark that day, my shoes were squeaking as I slowly walked across the stoned path. As I was walking I thought I could here little footsteps behind me. I started to walk faster and faster, until an old slimy hand grabbed my shoulder and slung me around. To my surprise it was the little old Italian lady from the fish store. She was breathing heavily as she leaned on my shoulder. "What is the matter, my little old lady friend who I just bought some fish from." She looked up at me and said happily, "I found this charming, nice man who said he wanted to take you out for dinner tomorrow at 7:17." I looked at her with a constipated look,"I guess that is cool." "She looked at me and said,"hong-chong lee un so do de mae mae wi wi fich si mas te ohoh." "What the heck? You are talking in Italian again can you please translate that in English for me. Thanks." I said a little bit frustrated. "Maybe if you didn't walk so fast you wouldn't have given me a heart attach," she whispered threw her dying breath, then right there she flopped on the ground shaking uncontrollably, then BAM!!!! She died.
The next my family and I went to her funeral. The thing lasted for around 5 hours, I was a little mad, but..........I got to go on a date in about 10 minutes. Right as I got to the door of the restaurant this really fat hairy man opened the door for me. That's when I knew that this was going to be the worst date ever. I went to sit in the booth when the whole thing collapsed under me, half killing me. Well, after that I got up off the floor and sat in the booth behind that one. Then someone opened the door and plopped down in front of me, I looked up and it was an angry,flabby, old man. Almost shocked to death I said,"Who are you." He said that he was my date. Then all of the sudden he died just like the fish lady did. "Wow," I said. Then I just walked out of the building just like nothing happened. This is my freakish story of my fake blind date.

p.s. This is a fake story